The unknown

I used to think I was a spontaneous person. Maybe I was when I was younger and didn't have any real responsibilities and didn't worry about how my life affected others. Now I'm a planner. I like to know where I'm going to be 5 years from now so when Todd found out yesterday that his job had been cancelled (he still gets a paycheck - no worries) I find that I can't stop thinking about what's in the future. He could be "on the bench" for a few months, he could be staffed on another local gig starting tomorrow or he could be traveling to California on Monday. We have no idea. We try and appreciate the time we have him home even though he still has to be "working" (in the form of training) and we try to take advantage of the early dinners and lazy, fall evenings but there's always that looming worry in the back of our heads...the what if. I can deal with him traveling better now. I sleep ok at night without him next to me, and the free airline tickets and Marriott points come in handy but oh, I just don't like it when he's gone week after week.

I have so much respect for families with dads in the military. I can't imagine having him gone for months at a time - especially when he could be in danger. At least I'm confident that when Todd is traveling he's sitting in a safe cubicle somewhere and will come home every 4 days. sigh.

Only time will tell what the future holds for us. The last two major blizzards (is that redundant?) we've had here Todd has missed because he's been on the road. I hope that's not the case again. He REALLY wants to be home for one. Last year he almost missed Christmas because he was stuck in warm, sunny California while the airports were shut down here. I hope that doesn't happen again.